What is it about becoming a mother that is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time? I wish there were adequate words to describe it. Every day I wake up to the gusty wails of my littlest one, and I ask God, “Why me?” I know you’re thinking what did she just say? Let me explain. I can’t fathom the reason(s) why God favored me with my three children. Often, my heart swells with overwhelming love and gratitude to the point of tears because basically becoming a parent is a learn-on-the-job experience. We take our humble or not so humble memories of the people we called parents, who by the way learned on the job also, and govern ourselves accordingly. Our dreams and reality differ greatly in this aspect of life.
Photo: Ronnie Bliss Photography
Motherhood is one of the greatest joys, however, it is not devoid of challenge.
Even the biological event of becoming a mother is rife with its own complications, to which some of us can attest. I never imagined I would feel the sting of loss during pregnancy, and that experience has placed a unique fingerprint on my mothering.
Out of all the aspects of being a mother, one stands out with the most value. On July 31 of this year, my mother will have been gone 15 years. I became a mother without my mother. It was a bittersweet life event, but somehow it became a binding bridge between my memories of her and those I would now create with my own children. I often think to myself “Would mommy have done it like this?’ or “What would mommy say about this?” or chuckle when I ask myself “How would she handle this child?”
Her love of being a mother motivates me on those tough days, and trust me sisters, there have been some tough days over here! Emulating her gentle yet firm spirit is my goal on a daily basis. Some days I meet my self-imposed standard (yep, I probably make it harder than it needs to be), and some days I just lift my hands toward heaven and thank God the day is over, and everyone is in bed.
Whatever your idea of motherhood is or whatever you think it should be, treasure it.
Tweak things here and there so that you enjoy the journey. This is THE most important thing. This mother’s day, I celebrate you - moms of all shapes, sizes, cultures, relationship statuses,
religions, preferences and values; whether you have 1 child, multiple children, children on the way, children laid to rest, children in your heart and prayers, step-children, grandchildren,
great-grandchildren, adopted children, or any other category of this sisterhood. This day IS for you…
From My Mamma heart to yours,
Quanny
